I know that there is no doubt that where I am in life now is where I was meant to be. I am a optimist with pessimist tendencies. Not only does this mean that I see the negative in almost everything, but I also see the positive and usually that's where I focus. One thing that bothers me is people who run away from their problems. I, being one of those people a while ago, can see that its not the way to live your life. Bad things happen so that good things can happen. Without the bad things, you'd never notice the good.
I started to look back on all the things I have been through in my life. Which is not much considering I am only 23 (oh god) and have so much more living and experiencing to do. I am sure that everyone out there has had those moments where they are not feeling so great about a place they are stuck at and for me this is where all the guilt of the past comes streaming in. Why do we do this? As I have confessed before I talk to myself a lot and one particular lonely, homesick, and rather down moment a while back brought me to this topic. Why is it when I feel bad, I think of all the bad things? Answer... I don't know. Rather then sit and sulk on how many things I have ran or hidden from in my past I turned it around and saw it as things I was running to, and finding. This made me feel tons better, and even more cheerful!
I started to think back to the first wishes I ever had as a child. When I was 6 I remember telling my first grade teacher I wanted to be President of the USA. I was President of the entire school in 4th and 5th grade. Goal sort of accomplished. Around age 8-9 I told someone, whoever was listening because I am pretty sure as a child I talked a lot. I told them I wanted to be a doctor so I would work with children. Well goal somewhat accomplished again, I am certainly taking care of children at the moment with plans of a medical career. Again in highschool I wanted to go to college, be the first in my family to graduate, accomplished. I wanted to travel, accomplished and still accomplishing. Now I want to run a marathon, (a half will do for now). So you see, once you stop dwelling on all those negatives and look past all the mistakes (which are inevitable) you can start making a wonderful list of accomplishments!
This made me feel a lot better about myself, at this particular down moment... I am living the life that I have always dreamed of. I am still dreaming things and they are happening to me. Surely everyone out there, when the time is right, will realize this tid bit and say, "hey she is right!" At least that's what I dream will happen!
Again I want to mention this blog An Explorers View on Life this blog is so inspirational. I love all the stories of this man (and his dog).
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